I just pynch a tree in the face
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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