I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
