Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
