I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I stole a fireplace last night.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
