hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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