Porn is love you can see.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
