Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
