no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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