maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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