saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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