Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
