Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
