Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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