He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
