i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
