Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
