I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
