i may or may not be watching the land before time
apparently the secret to your success is patron
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Who put my cat in the fridge?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
