I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
