I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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