We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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