I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
