Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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