the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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