At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
