The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
