I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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