I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
