i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
