i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
