they need to just BURY HIM!
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
