you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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