A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
