Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
