Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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