we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
