So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
