You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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