I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
