i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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