weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
