i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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