whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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