yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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