Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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