Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
