you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
