Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
