Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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