Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
