"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
