I want to walk on stilts...naked
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize