In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
