So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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