At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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