There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
