I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
