He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
