you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
