how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
