Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
