If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize